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Book cover of IF I COULD GO BACK by Briana Johnson featuring a teenage girl with a longing expression.

IF I
    COULD
        GO BACK

An achingly compassionate and beautifully empathetic contemporary young adult novel exploring the intersections of race, mental health, and the meaning of family—perfect for fans of Robin Benway’s Far from the Tree and Jas Hammonds’ We Deserve Monuments.

For Aaliyah Campbell, family is everything. Her cousin Ivy is her best friend and track co-star, and Grandpa Joe is her rock. He may be crotchety and dramatic, but he’s raised Aaliyah since she was a toddler. Still, Aaliyah can’t stop thinking about what’s missing—her parents.  

 

When Aaliyah secretly contacts her mom, she risks upsetting the family who’s always been there. But Grandpa Joe refuses to explain why her parents gave her up, and without answers, Aaliyah cannot silence the anxious voice telling her she’s never been good enough.  Surprisingly, it isn’t Aaliyah’s mom, but her dad, Quincy, who steps up. Quincy turns out to be immature but surprisingly fun to hang out with. And when the rest of the family finds out they’re in contact, old secrets will finally be forced into the light.  

 

Aaliyah Campbell is a champion for young Black girls coping with anxiety and depression, and a voice for all teens navigating the messy process of learning how to advocate for ones’ self. Through honest storytelling and a voice that oozes humor and heart, Briana Johnson’s memorable debut explores sensitive topics with authenticity and compassion.

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IF WE COULD GO BACK

Content Warnings: domestic violence, depression, anxiety, and postpartum depression.

“Keeping the peace between me and Grandpa Joe means me feeling incomplete and unworthy of love for the rest of my life. How is it fair that everyone else gets to be happy while I’m forced to be miserable, so I don’t make others feel the way I have for eighteen years? It isn’t fair. If you ask Grandpa Joe, he’d say that’s life. And maybe he’s right, but I don’t want it to be mine.”

BLURBS

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